Sometimes I forget who I am and what I’m supposed to be doing.
All the me-ness slips away and I feel hollow and confused.
Dizzy and light, like my feet aren’t on the ground.
I can’t even cry, because I don’t know what to cry about.
I don’t know why it happens.
I can’t even tell how long it lasts.
It is an always feeling once I’m in it, never-ending, never-begun.
All I can do is stay very still and press my fingers to my lips to keep the thoughts or secrets or cries or lies or truths or whatever else is left from slipping out.
So they can stay inside and fill the hollow spaces.
While I wait to feel like myself again.
About flax-golden tales. Photo by Carey Farrell. Text by Erin Morgenstern.